Please be quiet, you're having too much fun.

Now, I hate the PC brigade as much as the next guy. I’m of that stereotypical view that there are people out there who want nothing more than for everyone to conform to a Victorian manner of thinking, and by that I mean scowl at any one who smiles, pray to a vengeful merciless and terrible God, and secretly sodomise the maid/kids.

That may of course be fun to some, and I’m also of the opinion that you should be considerate in your actions. However a little piece of modern Britain caught my eye this week, and to me it summed up the terrible state of affairs we find ourselves in.

A letter has surfaced on the internet that purports to be from Sue Watson. Sue is the Chief Safety Officer at Middlesbrough FC, a title she no doubt earned by being a diligent, studious sort, and paying close attention to all the many things that can hurt and harm you. She was probably bombarded on multiple courses with all kinds of things that some people may find offensive, and like a form of Chinese water torture, this has clearly left her dazed and confused.

Need clarification? Read the letter I’ve linked to here. The shockingly patronising piece of bilge that has apparently been sent to supporters of Middlesbro’, in which she asks for them to keep the noise down.

Perhaps Sue’s last job was as a chief safety officer of a library, were keeping the noise down would have been a high priority, alongside paper-cuts, and nasty coffee stains. You would think however, that now working in a football stadium, noise control would be the last of her problems. In fact, it wouldn’t be a problem.

I have never in my life known a football club discourage noise in a stadium. I have also never known supporters discourage noise, other than air horns, which are the play things of the sort of people who need to command the attention, but have neither the wit nor charm to do it themselves. So for her to suggest that the “constant noise is driving some fans mad,” beggars belief, and even if such complaints did exist, then it’s tantamount to someone going to a dog show and complaining about the barking.

I’ve been to The Riverside Stadium. I went there when my beloved Nuneaton Boro took them to a replay in the FA Cup, and despite getting beat, we made a hell of a lot of noise that day, and I thoroughly enjoyed my trip. I also really enjoyed and appreciated the welcome from the Middlesbro’ fans. I even saved a number of comments made by them praising us on their website, and to this day it still makes me beam with pride when I read them back, so they do have a fond place in my heart. For their fans to be treated so shoddily by their club appals me.

I hope Middlesbro’ reprimand Sue Watson for her clearly ill thought out letter. In fact, I hope they remove her from her job. She clearly has little to no understanding about what it is to be a football fan. I also hope every Middlesbro’ fan who receives this letter from her, returns it to the sender, with a rather blunt suggestion of where she should file it.